Feeling Good

Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. -Louise Hay

I recently had the opportunity to attend the 2007 Hay House “I Can Do It” Tampa Conference. This was my first such conference but I know it definitely won’t be my last. I had an absolute blast and would recommend this to anyone interested in the topics covered by Hay House Publishing.

Over the course of three days, I attended presentations by 9 different authors covering a range of topics from an “unvarnished” version of Law of Attraction to Shamanism to Angel Therapy. The list of speakers was impressive to say the least. I was able to attend talks given by the following authors:

• Colette Baron-Reid – I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed her humor; she’s quite funny.
• Dr. Wayne W. Dyer – I love hearing Dr. Dyer speak; his PBS special that coincided with the book “The Power of Intention” was how I was first formally introduced to the concept of LOA and I’ve been a fan of his since.
• Caroline Myss – I had previously only heard her once or twice on Hay House Radio so being exposed to her material was something of a new experience for me.
• Alberto Villoldo, Ph.D. – Prior to signing up for this conference I had never even heard of him. Since he was discussing Shamanism, a recent interest of mine, and I was very familiar with Dr. Stephen Farmer’s work, who was also covering this topic, I decided to attend his talk and felt good about his message.
• Esther and Jerry Hicks – This was an amazing experience! If you are able to attend nothing else at a conference where they are, be sure to attend this one! Awesome!
• Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. – Doreen’s readings of individuals from the audience were some of the most detailed of any that I’ve heard in person.
• Christiane Northrup, M.D. – Although much of her message was targeted toward women, I still found a lot of useful information in the talk.
• Dr. Darren R. Weissman – There was much buzz at the conference about this man and his healing technique called “The Lifeline Technique”. The end of his talk included a demonstration of the technique on an audience member and after watching this technique in action, I have to say, I have no doubt that it works.
• Mehmet C. Oz, M.D. – Dr. Oz has become a regular on Oprah and makes body processes relatively easy to understand.

So, which of these great authors/speakers represents the BEST reason to attend a Hay House Conference? Frankly, none of them.

You see, the best reason to attend a conference like this is not the speaker, although they are all fantastic in their own way, but is, without a doubt, the people you will inevitably sit down next to. I had the privilege to sit down next to several wonderful people:

• Earl from the Northeastern U.S. – Earl was a retired gentleman who had made a career in agriculture that had taken him all over the world. He was politically conservative and had grown accustomed to being thought of as being “out there” by his colleagues. His sincere and genuine nature made him a pleasure to spend time with.
• The lady from Crystal River, Florida – She knew that even though where she was did not represent everything she wanted, that she was exactly where she was supposed to be. She had learned that traveling companions didn’t always have to be dropped off at the first sign of a bumpy road.
• The lady from Illinois – Trying to be true to herself, this lady was still a bit nervous about all of this as much was outside of her Midwestern comfort zone. She had bravely taken her first steps into a new perspective and was on her way to a new understanding.
• Helene from Ottawa, Canada – Helene gave me a personal reading and shared with me tidbits that were right in line with both things I’ve desired for myself and things that others have said to me. She was a wonderful lady with a true sense of her own direction in this life.
• The lady who didn’t seem like she wanted to be there – This encounter reminded me that very often we just don’t know what others are going through at any given moment and, as such, we should simply not judge them. We do not know their circumstances and should not jump to conclusions.
• Last, but far from least, Nancy from Connecticut – I met Nancy at the very first session I attended and we very quickly became friends spending much of our time between sessions chatting and sharing stories. It was very much like meeting someone I had already known for a very long time. We were instantly comfortable with each other and I have no doubt we will be friends for the remainder of our time in this existence.

It’s great to meet and hear well known speakers and authors. But ultimately, they simply provide a convenient excuse for the real reason to attend a conference like this. There’s just nothing that can beat cultivating a new friendship or “finding” one that’s been waiting for you!

By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired. –Franz Kafka

A friend recently emailed me asking about happiness and how to manifest his desires.  He said, “I really do want to be happy with my life. I wonder if the problem is that I want too much and am never satisfied ( I was up until 2am last night thinking about my future and where I can go from where I am currently at today. Is this the peak of my life/career? From here on out, it this as good as it’s going to get?)”

The following is an excerpt from my response to him:

Basically, Law of Attraction says that “thoughts become things” and everything in our physical experience begins as thought.  First we think it, and then as we live with that thought the Universe goes to work to bring you what you are thinking about.  There have been all kinds of examples of this throughout history and if you think about it you will find examples in your own life of the same principle at work.  It is this reason that so many people never see much change in the patterns of their lives.  They continually reflect on the way things exist for them in the moment and the Universe keeps bringing them more of what they have which may not be what they really want. 
 
So let’s apply this to your situation.  You want to be involved in a career that’s different from the one you are currently in.  You think to yourself, “I would really like to do X, but I’ve got it pretty good and there are so many people who don’t have as much as I do.” Following Law of Attraction, the Universe responds to “…I’ve got it pretty good…” and sends you more of what you have which leaves you right where you’ve been all along.
 
So then you think, “I wonder if the problem is that I want too much and am never satisfied.” In short, the answer is no.  It is our nature to want more than we have no matter what that may be.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  That desire for more is what keeps us growing.  We don’t have to worry about getting more than our “share” because the Universe can supply an unlimited amount of resources.  In other words, just because we are getting more does not mean that someone else must get less.
 
The single biggest stumbling block for most people is that they can’t get past the way things “are” in the moment.  If you want the Universe to bring you something more than you have then you must “ignore” the way things are and focus on the way you want them to be!
 
The way to know if you are moving in the right direction is with your emotions.  If you feel good about whatever it is you are thinking about then you are moving in the right direction for you and what you are focusing on is making its way to you!  If, on the other hand, you are feeling bad when you think about something, then you are moving away from what you want.  It’s that simple. 
 
The key to all of this is something of a balancing act.  You must be happy (feel good) with what you have in order to move in the direction of what you want while not being completely satisfied and continually wanting more.  As far as being happy with what you have, the easiest way to move in that direction is to learn to be thankful for what you have.  Find something about your current situation that you can truly be thankful for and offer that up to the Universe.  Seek out more and more things to be thankful for and offer those up at every opportunity.  In the end, the ironic part is that the more you “hate” what you have, the more difficult it is to move on and this is true of any situation be it a job, a relationship, or whatever.  Conversely, the more thankful and appreciative you are for what you have, the easier it is to let it go and receive more of what you want!

All the races and tribes in the world are like the different colored flowers of one meadow. All are beautiful. As children of the Creator they must all be respected. -Taken from the Native American Indian Traditional Code of Ethics. Inter-Tribal Times, 1994-OCT

This week I was having lunch in a Mexican restaurant and heard two religious leaders at the table behind me discussing how their spiritual answers would benefit the masses if only those masses would ascribe to their thought processes. Mind you, I was by no means eavesdropping. As a matter of fact, I would not have needed to in order to hear this part of their discussion for they, consciously or not, slipped into their “stage” voices during those particular moments. Before anyone misunderstands, allow me to say that I have absolutely no issue with either of these individuals or any of their religious counterparts. More than that, I believe that they are on the absolute correct path…for them.

As I was reflecting on this, the Universe chimed in and delivered the following message in my email:

Physical man gets into an uncomfortable place when he concludes, “I and those like me have come to the right decisions, and everybody that’s living outside of these right decisions is wrong.” And then he spends his life pushing against all those “wrong” decisions and cutting himself off from the Life Force that would help him have joy in his, what he concludes to be, right decisions. There is no one right path. There are endless paths, and the differences in the paths are what make them more and more, and more, perfect. The same old path no longer serves.

-Abraham via Esther Hicks (Excerpted from a workshop in Orlando, FL on Saturday, February 3rd, 2001)

There has also been much said recently about being ever so careful of the vibrational level of the people around you. I believe that thought process is really not that much different than that of the religious leaders that had lunch at the table next to me. I submit that there’s really nothing to “guard against” but only choices to be made.

As for my choices, I choose to believe that each of us has our own path to walk and that each path is just as unique as we are. Because each one’s path is unique, I choose to accept each one where he or she is at any given moment. I choose to be okay with each just as they are and not concern myself with how they may affect me — for I choose to believe they can only affect me if I allow them to. I choose to articulate my beliefs with my words and demonstrate them with my actions. I choose to laugh, play, and live with all those who come my way regardless of what they may have to offer in return.

Above all, I choose to Love each “flower in the meadow”.

And when you strip any of the world’s major religions to their respective cores, that is the one common denominator!

What I do you cannot do; but what you do, I cannot do. The needs are great, and none of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful. -Mother Teresa

For those of you that may not be aware, this blog was started as a companion to a group that I organize called the Tampa Law of Attraction Meetup Group.  This gathering has attracted a diverse group of people who have enriched not only my life but the lives of each other as well and I’m proud to be a part of this particular journey.  In the time since the group began we have seen the membership consistently grow and we are now looking forward with great expectation to the next step in our travels together. 

With that in mind, I’m extremely pleased to announce that the Tampa Law of Attraction Meetup Group is now an affiliate chapter of “The Gathering Project” founded by Andrew Adler.  “The Gathering Project” was created as a gathering place for those who share the common interest of self-improvement through spiritual growth, enlightenment, accessing spiritual and healing gifts, and making the world a more peaceful and better place to live.

Essentially, this group could be thought of as a network of like minded people who share similar goals of improving themselves and the lives of others by making themselves visible for others to locate.  Andrew was recently interviewed about “The Gathering Project” by Julie Johnson of LawOfAttractionTools.com and the show can be listened to or downloaded from her site.

You can learn more about “The Gathering Project” at the official Meetup site.

Ok, this is going to seem a bit odd for a post but just read this.

There’s nothing that I can add to this thought!

Kudos, Jonathan!

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. –Carl Jung

Those of you who know me best, may know by now that I have experienced a rather significant change in the way I think about the world around me. I used to spend large chunks of time lamenting this situation or that possibility or why a particular person didn’t seem to like me. This may come as a shock to some of you but one of my biggest concerns was centered around why I could not attract and retain any friends.

Oh, I would meet people, get to know them and maybe even become friends. But somewhere along the line things would just fall apart and I would end up feeling hurt. So, I basically worked myself into a place where I felt that friendships were things that needed testing and in the end I would prove myself correct about my “uncertainty” regarding what my friend really thought of me.

The principle that I did not understand at that time was what is often referred to as reciprocity. The idea that whatever we “give” away is what we “get” in return was something that I had heard of but never really thought much about. I mean, after all, I wasn’t the one who was hurting me. It was him or her. I wasn’t giving them anything but my friendship yet I was getting a lot of pain and rejection back. It just didn’t seem to make any sense.

As I began taking the time to “step back” and review my life from a broader perspective, I realized that this principle was, in fact, constantly at work. Once I realized that what I was really “giving” away was a lack of trust and a belief that I would ultimately be hurt, then it made perfect sense why that was EXACTLY what I would get back. Once I realized what I was creating for myself, not only was it easy to change, it actually seemed silly not to change it.

So what did I change? Simply put, I made an internal decision to meet each and every one of my friends exactly where they are in their lives. I acknowledge that each is on his or her own unique path. I respect and accept each of them for every decision they have made or will make. I look for what I can learn from each of them. And above all else, I love and accept each one unconditionally.

What do I get in return? All of the above and a growing list of close friends.

Today I challenge you to take that step back and carefully review what you are giving away in your life. Is it what you want back? Are you getting something back that you don’t want? If so, seek out where you are giving it away. It may not be obvious to you at first, but it is there.

To help clarify my last response to my friend who was interested in attracting someone significant into his life, I offered the following example from my own experience.

Since learning of Law of Attraction, I have had a couple of specific people in my life that I wanted specific types of non-romantic relationships with and I’ve really felt the feelings as I was hoping to get to a certain place with them. In both cases, I ultimately found that the nature of the relationship was more important to me than the specific person I thought I wanted to have that relationship with and the way I learned that was by the results. The two of them were vibrating (thinking about) very different things than I and as a result one has “vibrated out of my experience” completely and the other seems close to doing the same.

The way to tell if someone is vibrating at a different rate than you? The two of you will more and more find yourselves in different physical locations and when you are together, the simple act of being together will become strained and difficult which was exactly what happened with my two people. The truly wonderful aspect is that without any effort on my part (other than desiring a specific type of relationship), other people have arrived in my experience who have WILLINGLY stepped into those roles without any prompting from me just as if they knew what I wanted and why they were there in front of me! And these things happen so effortlessly that its sometimes too easy to overlook that what you have been wanting and asking for is right in front of us!

As we continue the conversation with my friend who’s looking for a potential mate, he asked a follow up question.

When your wish involves another person - how does it work when they do not wish for the same thing? I wouldn’t want the relationship if it was not a mutual wish of course - which is probably impossible anyway. I guess that’s why I would be apprehensive about wishing for a specific individual. Last but not least - is it wise to get carried away with your excitement for someone - or should you make sure to get to know them well enough first to make sure their personality and character matches what you would desire in a partner? … Perhaps my real question is this: Is it ok wishing for the “perfect” relationship with a specific person and during those thoughts, picture the specific person the way you hope they are - or will be? OR - would you think you get better results if you focus on one or the other - relationship or specific person!??

Law of Attraction says that you get what you think about and that your positive emotions are what activate and speed the manifestation. So, whether you realize it or not you will ultimately put more energy into one or the other of your desires at any given moment and thus you will create that first.

Think about it. You’ve just met someone who you are interested in and you think, “Hmmm, I like this person and I feel myself getting excited.” So time passes and you decide that this person is the one you want a relationship with so that’s where you place your focus. As you get to know the individual you begin to see signs of who that person is “in the now” and, maybe even without realizing it, you begin a dialog with yourself that goes something like, “Well, I can live with that flaw, its really not that bad.” or “Wow, I don’t know about this person after all but since I am still excited about the possibility, I’ll give it some time.” The reality is that either of those responses represents a change in the desire that you are asking for. So does that mean you can’t manifest both the specific person and have that person be everything you want him to be? Not at all, but you could potentially find that the two desires may not manifest at the same time.

In a previous post, I offered the first part of a response to a friend who asked how specific he should be when creating a vision board for attracting a potential mate. The following is the second part of my response:

Now, with all that said, if what you really want is a relationship with a specific person, then post that person’s picture on your board and don’t think about anyone else. Make copies of that picture and your own and put them on top of those “happy couples” you found so that you can see the two of you together! Be a kid again and pretend the two of you are already a couple! Imagine you are both lying on a blanket under the stars and that there’s no place that either of you would rather be! While you are imaging this, FEEL the FEELINGS just like you were there in that moment! It’s the desire coupled with the emotional intensity that really speeds up the manifestation. So, desire it, feel it, believe it, and you will see it!

Should you decide you want to take the route of building a relationship with a specific person, you should be aware that this approach can be more difficult to bring to the point of the manifestation. That’s not because it’s “harder” than the other but only because of the fact that we, in physical form, have a hard time waiting for the results of our desires. When we desire a relationship with a person that is already in our experience, we often have difficulty feeling the feelings for any length of time while receiving nothing in return. The frequent result is that we give up on it before it has time to manifest.

A friend who’s somewhat new to Law of Attraction recently indicated to me that he had created several vision boards for himself including one oriented toward finding someone significant. He had used generic pictures of “happy couples” and was wondering if he should use the picture of the person he was hoping to build a relationship with or if he was better off keeping it generic.

The following is the first part of my response to him:

As for your question, the Law of Attraction says that whatever you ask for is what you get. So, the question back to you is, what is it that you really want? Do you want a relationship with a specific person or is what you really want the feelings associated with said relationship?

If what you really want is to feel the way you think being in a relationship would make you feel, then I challenge you to feel that way about yourself first. For instance, if you want to feel loved, cared for, and protected, then love, care for, and protect yourself first for it will only be then that you will attract what you want — you will be thinking about (attracting) feelings of love, care and protection and you will draw to yourself other people who will feel the same way. Further, you may be surprised to find that once you realize you can create those feelings yourself, you may not feel as large a need to receive them from someone else. That’s not to say that the desire to share your life’s journey with someone is a bad thing or in any way something you shouldn’t want. You may just find that as you learn to feel that way about yourself, you will think differently about many things and your interpersonal relationships will definitely be among those items.