Feeling Good

To help clarify my last response to my friend who was interested in attracting someone significant into his life, I offered the following example from my own experience.

Since learning of Law of Attraction, I have had a couple of specific people in my life that I wanted specific types of non-romantic relationships with and I’ve really felt the feelings as I was hoping to get to a certain place with them. In both cases, I ultimately found that the nature of the relationship was more important to me than the specific person I thought I wanted to have that relationship with and the way I learned that was by the results. The two of them were vibrating (thinking about) very different things than I and as a result one has “vibrated out of my experience” completely and the other seems close to doing the same.

The way to tell if someone is vibrating at a different rate than you? The two of you will more and more find yourselves in different physical locations and when you are together, the simple act of being together will become strained and difficult which was exactly what happened with my two people. The truly wonderful aspect is that without any effort on my part (other than desiring a specific type of relationship), other people have arrived in my experience who have WILLINGLY stepped into those roles without any prompting from me just as if they knew what I wanted and why they were there in front of me! And these things happen so effortlessly that its sometimes too easy to overlook that what you have been wanting and asking for is right in front of us!

As we continue the conversation with my friend who’s looking for a potential mate, he asked a follow up question.

When your wish involves another person - how does it work when they do not wish for the same thing? I wouldn’t want the relationship if it was not a mutual wish of course - which is probably impossible anyway. I guess that’s why I would be apprehensive about wishing for a specific individual. Last but not least - is it wise to get carried away with your excitement for someone - or should you make sure to get to know them well enough first to make sure their personality and character matches what you would desire in a partner? … Perhaps my real question is this: Is it ok wishing for the “perfect” relationship with a specific person and during those thoughts, picture the specific person the way you hope they are - or will be? OR - would you think you get better results if you focus on one or the other - relationship or specific person!??

Law of Attraction says that you get what you think about and that your positive emotions are what activate and speed the manifestation. So, whether you realize it or not you will ultimately put more energy into one or the other of your desires at any given moment and thus you will create that first.

Think about it. You’ve just met someone who you are interested in and you think, “Hmmm, I like this person and I feel myself getting excited.” So time passes and you decide that this person is the one you want a relationship with so that’s where you place your focus. As you get to know the individual you begin to see signs of who that person is “in the now” and, maybe even without realizing it, you begin a dialog with yourself that goes something like, “Well, I can live with that flaw, its really not that bad.” or “Wow, I don’t know about this person after all but since I am still excited about the possibility, I’ll give it some time.” The reality is that either of those responses represents a change in the desire that you are asking for. So does that mean you can’t manifest both the specific person and have that person be everything you want him to be? Not at all, but you could potentially find that the two desires may not manifest at the same time.

In a previous post, I offered the first part of a response to a friend who asked how specific he should be when creating a vision board for attracting a potential mate. The following is the second part of my response:

Now, with all that said, if what you really want is a relationship with a specific person, then post that person’s picture on your board and don’t think about anyone else. Make copies of that picture and your own and put them on top of those “happy couples” you found so that you can see the two of you together! Be a kid again and pretend the two of you are already a couple! Imagine you are both lying on a blanket under the stars and that there’s no place that either of you would rather be! While you are imaging this, FEEL the FEELINGS just like you were there in that moment! It’s the desire coupled with the emotional intensity that really speeds up the manifestation. So, desire it, feel it, believe it, and you will see it!

Should you decide you want to take the route of building a relationship with a specific person, you should be aware that this approach can be more difficult to bring to the point of the manifestation. That’s not because it’s “harder” than the other but only because of the fact that we, in physical form, have a hard time waiting for the results of our desires. When we desire a relationship with a person that is already in our experience, we often have difficulty feeling the feelings for any length of time while receiving nothing in return. The frequent result is that we give up on it before it has time to manifest.

A friend who’s somewhat new to Law of Attraction recently indicated to me that he had created several vision boards for himself including one oriented toward finding someone significant. He had used generic pictures of “happy couples” and was wondering if he should use the picture of the person he was hoping to build a relationship with or if he was better off keeping it generic.

The following is the first part of my response to him:

As for your question, the Law of Attraction says that whatever you ask for is what you get. So, the question back to you is, what is it that you really want? Do you want a relationship with a specific person or is what you really want the feelings associated with said relationship?

If what you really want is to feel the way you think being in a relationship would make you feel, then I challenge you to feel that way about yourself first. For instance, if you want to feel loved, cared for, and protected, then love, care for, and protect yourself first for it will only be then that you will attract what you want — you will be thinking about (attracting) feelings of love, care and protection and you will draw to yourself other people who will feel the same way. Further, you may be surprised to find that once you realize you can create those feelings yourself, you may not feel as large a need to receive them from someone else. That’s not to say that the desire to share your life’s journey with someone is a bad thing or in any way something you shouldn’t want. You may just find that as you learn to feel that way about yourself, you will think differently about many things and your interpersonal relationships will definitely be among those items.

Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix. -Christina Baldwin

It is a universal principle that the only real constant in life is change. Change permeates our existence from the smallest of situations we normally don’t give much thought to, like the constant change of the length of our fingernails, to the largest and sometimes most stressful changes such as the loss of a job.

Change, no matter how much we may try, is a principle that we simply can not escape. It is so universal in nature, and happens at such vastly different levels in our lives, it is often easy to overlook the fact that even if we do not realize it, we live in a constant state of change.

Like the words of a popular song from a few years ago say:

“South moves North
North moves South
A star is born
A star burns out
The only thing that stays the same is
Everything changes
Everything changes”

So if change is such a part of our lives then why are we so frightened by it? Why do we fight it so? I submit to you that in reality it is not the change we fear at all. What we actually fear is the unknown. It is the unknown outcome of the change in front of us that keeps so many of us paralyzed.

Consider this quote from one of my favorite authors, H. G. Wells.

“There is no intelligence where there is no change and no need of change. Only those animals partake of intelligence that have to meet a huge variety of needs and dangers.”

Think about that for a minute. If nothing in our lives ever changed, we would never have a reason to learn anything new. If we never learned anything new, we would cease to grow. Ultimately, because we are in a constant state of change, when we stop growing — we start dying.

Today I challenge you to reexamine the change taking place in your life. Take a step back from the fear of that unknown outcome and try to see the change from a different point of view. Put that change into perspective and see it for what it is — your next opportunity for growth.

Thought is only a flash between two long nights, but this flash is everything. -Henri Poincare (1854 - 1912)

“I know that I won’t be able to do that”
“I don’t have what it takes”
“I don’t think I can do it”

Do any of these sound like anything that you have said recently in regards to you own abilities? Do you often doubt that you are capable or worry that you are just not good enough?

A friend recently told me of her decision to stop smoking but went on to say that she knew she would give in and smoke during a particularly stressful upcoming event in her life. My response was immediate, “If you think that you will, then you will.”

Think about the times you have “known” you would or would not do a particular thing only to ultimately prove yourself correct. It is during moments such as these that you are living and acting in such a way that your thoughts and beliefs about yourself and your situation in life are transformed from the realm of pure thought to the physical world.

You think something, even “know” it and as a result you begin acting differently. You interact with the universe in a way that says you already know what your outcome will be. So, should it really be any surprise when the universe steps up and accommodates you?

Today I challenge you to review your thoughts carefully. See if you can find those areas where you are preventing yourself from achieving your full potential.

Believe that you can be successful and you will be!

Mahatma Gandhi.
Your Dad.
Mother Teresa.
Your Mom.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Your Friend.

Would any of these people make your personal list of the World’s Most Inspirational People? You might be inclined to think the more notable people on this list would better fit your definition of one who inspires. If you really think about it, that might not be the case.

The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines “inspire” as the ability:

1 a : to influence, move, or guide…b : to exert an animating, enlivening, or exalting influence on…c : to spur on

Now review that list again. Who has spent more time influencing, moving, guiding and spurring you on?

Here is the part that is often easy to miss. Even without leading the masses, feeding the world’s hunger or taking a stand for what you believe in, you can be an inspirational individual in the lives of those around you. Best of all, it isn’t even that difficult. The only requirements are that you genuinely desire the best for those around you and, when needed, you provide the encouragement necessary to help them continue moving forward.

Here is my challenge to you. Find someone today who could benefit from a touch of inspiration and give of yourself whatever may be necessary to build that person up.

If you simply do what it takes to help those around you move forward, you will be their inspiration!

“So, how did you hear about us?” he asked.

I told him I had received his company’s advertisement in the mail a few days earlier to which he responded by first giving me a funny look and then asking to see the ad.

“Hmmph, ok, I didn’t even know this was being sent out.”

He went on to explain that air conditioning manufacturers would often give HVAC contractors and installers free advertising, of which this was an example, as a way of trying to earn the repeat business of that contractor or installer.

I suppose some might consider it luck or good fortune that the arrival of this advertisement in my mailbox, specifically with my name on it – unlike so many of the ads I get for someone named “CURRENT RESIDENT,” was timed as it was. By the time I received this ad, I had actually been in need of a replacement air conditioner for the previous four months. Since the winter season was on us, and the heating portion of the unit still worked, my wife and I decided we would use the winter months to save up the cash needed for the transaction.

As the warmer months grew closer, so did my restlessness about getting the A/C replaced. It was about a week before I went to my mailbox to retrieve the single ad that arrived that day, when I knew it was time to move on this process. I performed a careful search of the phone directory and made some calls. This initial canvas resulted in a price that was close to the amount we had been able to save, however, this price was for equipment manufactured by a company with less than a stellar reputation for quality. Being the frugal minded individuals that we are, my wife and I felt as though we really didn’t have much choice in the matter since this manufacturer always seemed to come in at the lowest price regardless of who installed it and we really didn’t want to finance this purchase. I spent the next few days inquiring into the reputation of a particular installation company among my friends and co-workers and it was at that point my advertisement, the one created especially for me, arrived.

With my key, I turned the lock on my mailbox door and pulled it open. Almost instantly, I was able to see the recognizable image of the outside portion of a central cooling system printed on the card. It was at that precise moment, even before I saw my name printed on the card, that I knew I had co-created my very own miracle.

For four months I had thought about, focused on, and intended to save the money necessary to get this issue resolved. I talked about it with those around me as well as my wife and I never missed an opportunity to keep it in my mind. Since I knew that thoughts are “things” and that specifically they play a major role in the manifestation of form, then it came as absolutely no surprise to me when this ad arrived in the manner it did and at the time it did. It couldn’t have happened any other way. The fact that the co-owner of the installation company who was now sitting at my dining room table had known nothing of the ad was, frankly, an added bonus of confirmation.

I know that many people would immediately assign the label of coincidence to the aforementioned sequence of events. And, in a way, that’s true. But what is the nature of a coincidence? What does it really mean? In his book, “The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire,” Deepak Chopra explains coincidence in the following manner:

We have all experienced coincidences in our lives. The word itself perfectly describes its meaning: co means “with,” and incidence means “event.” So the word coincidence refers to events or incidences that occur with other incidences – two or more events occurring at the same time. Because the experience of coincidences is universal, most people take them for granted, life’s little quirky moments that we marvel over, then quickly forget. Coincidences are so much more than amusements. A coincidence is a clue to the intention of the universal spirit, and as such it is rich with significance.

So what was the significance of my coincidence? There could be any number of significant meanings some of which I may never know. For now the most obvious meaning that I can connect to and understand, is the real life example that I am now able to share regarding the role coincidence plays in the manifestation of the “everyday” miracles we so often miss or dismiss.

I’m certain the question may arise how it is I know the arrival of that ad followed by the seemingly insignificant exchange at my dining room table was, in fact, an everyday miracle. You tell me, how else would you describe this scenario which ends with a quote that includes a complete central air-conditioning package manufactured by a company with the highest reputation for quality, a higher efficiency rating, and double the amount of warranty for a mere $300 more than what was previously the lowest priced unit to be found?

That, my friends, is Law of Attraction at work!

“I appreciate you just for being you.”
“You are special to me.”
“I value you.”

Take just a moment to think about the last time that someone said something like this to you. If it’s been to long to remember, then think about how hearing one or more of these statements would make you feel. Would hearing statements like these make your day? Your week? Your month?

If you think you are alone in your need to feel appreciated, be assured that you are not. The people in your everyday life feel exactly as you in this regard. The exciting part is you have within your power the ability to significantly influence the lives of the people around you, in very meaningful ways, simply by telling them how you feel about them.

With that, I challenge you to decide right now that you are going to make a difference in someone’s life and you are going to do it today. Don’t let the sun set without telling someone you care about how you feel about him or her.

You will be making a difference!